I didn’t mention that before, but last week I’d had a terrible PMS. We all went out for a friend’s good bye party and I was in a horrible, horrible mood. The Pretty Boy was with us and I was such a bitch to him. I think if someone ever treats me this way like I treated him, I would never talk to them again. And yet, he sticked around through out the night.

After that I didn’t hear from him again. His best friend messaged me a few days ago saying that he and the Pretty Boy will cook together and if I wanted to come over. I had other plans, so I politely declined. It did make me think that the Pretty Boy didn’t invite me himself, as he does in situations like that, but I didn’t think much about it.

Then yesterday I was out in a club and saw him. He was walking outside with a girl he had met during his TEFL course. I went to say hello and it was a little bit awkward. Not sure why…So, I just said I was inside of the club and if he wanted to join me. He said he might come later.

When the party finished I met his friend and we were looking for him. No sign. I tried to call him a couple of times and he didn’t answer. The girl I had seen him with before was with us and he called her to say he was already at home.

I thought that at least he would message me, but no…nothing…

I know that I have been a bitch to him. I also realise that he wanted more from me, and I just couldn’t give that to him, but it still does feel a little shitty that he ignored me like that and disappeared.

I am kind of disappointed. I know I can’t be with the guy because I’m not in a place to do that, and I don’t like him in that way, but I do want him to desire me like he did before…. This makes me feel a little bad about myself.