Sometimes when we sleep together, and I wake up in his arms, I just can’t get over the fact how happy I am. I look at HIM and all I can think of is one word: loveliness. You know, it’s that moment when you really, really like somebody and you can’t think of one thing that annoys you about them. Instead, you find them close to perfect.
We haven’t had that much time to spend together due to his workload. He did, however, try to make some time for me every now and then, and I enjoyed that time so much. We did have a couple of arguments in the last two weeks. They were mostly caused by me, by my insecurity and self doubt, and by the fact that I am trying to predict the future. I actually decided that if I continue like this I will never be happy and I will make his life miserable, too. I have decided to change.
I believe that this relationship has a good influence on me. It made me work on my writing more, and I have already started to work on myself, which is going well. I know I will have some darker days, but I am sure that I can be even happier than I am. And for that, I am grateful to HIM. I am not sure where this relationship is going, or if it is going anywhere at all, but I am sure that it is making me a better person.
I stopped being afraid of telling him I love him. He doesn’t say it back. He says he’s not ready and that’s ok. I know that he does love me.
‘You make me happy’ he said to me last night and I thought it was as lovely as waking up in his arms.