I’m killing myself over the conversation I had with him yesterday. I wanted to say that his work and time management wasn’t great and that this is not healthy for him, neither it is for me. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him when he wasn’t around. And of course I said it all wrong and it seemed like I blamed him for everything, including his workload, and I was blackmailing him (‘if you can’t sort this out, I will need to break up with you). What the hell was I thinking?

The guy did not do any work through out the whole weekend just to be with me. He even made some plans for us this week, despite the fact that he has big projects to finish this week, and his friend is coming to visit, so he needs to look after him. He complained on Friday how much he has to do and that he was afraid he would drop dead at the end of this week. And what did I do? I made the situation worse.

I apologized yesterday….but was it enough?

I am freaking out.

I was in his place once. I did have a boyfriend, who was not only jealous, but also wanted to have all of my time. I know how people behave when they are pushed like that. He hasn’t been in touch since yesterday afternoon, which is very unusual for him. I just hope he’s working and not thinking that he’s had enough of me and he doesn’t want to see me again.

My head is spinning with worries.