I have found his website a while ago. It was during the time when I was dating the Kid and it wasn’t going well. I was in need of an advice. So, I subscribed to Mr Carter’s newsletters.
His site is called Catch him and keep him and he claims that he will teach you all the secrets you need to know about getting the man of your dreams and keeping him.
Basically, this is a website for desperate women.
Mr Carter is some sort of a celebrity in the dating world. He gives advice, teaches women, has videos, articles and ebooks.
I read all of his newsletters at the beginning. I was one of those desperate women, looking for someone to tell them how they can keep a guy they really wanted to be with.
After a while, I stopped reading the articles. Why?
First of all, they are all the same and they say one thing: you need to change, you need to be the goddess the man desires, or a cold bitch, or this and that. Basically, it’s your fault the man doesn’t want you and you need to change your behaviour. I have one thing to say to that: if the guy doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you. PERIOD. If the relationship is not working out it won’t, no matter what you’ll do. This is especially important to remember at the beginning of the relationship.
And let’s say that you will change and the guy will stay with you because he will think how great you are and how wonderful the relationship has recently been. Let’s face it – how long can you keep that up? How long can you behave like someone else, someone you are not, before you will go back to your old ways, or even if you get married to the guy and suddenly he realizes that he married someone completely different?
And what about talking to your guy about the stuff he does wrong and trying to change HIM?? Huh? Why does it have to be our fault, Mr Carter?
Second reason why I don’t read the newsletters any more is the fact that they make me paranoid. This morning I decided to open the recent one (that’s why I am also writing about it, because it really annoyed me). It was about being with a great guy and relationship going well, so you are trying harder and suddenly the guy is telling you he is not ready, or he is pulling away. I don’t want to go into details. The newsletter is pretty long. But in the middle of reading it I realised that maybe this whole thing is also about me? Maybe I am also too pushy, or maybe my relationship is not going anywhere. So, I started analysing HIS behaviour, and then I became scared….Thing is, my lovlies, that every relationship is different, we are all in different circumstances, we have different characters and for goodness sake! The guys are all different. Yes, maybe in the past this situation that Mr Carter described in his newsletter happened to me, but it is not said that it will happen to me again.It is not said that HE is the same as the others (and he proved so many times that he is not).
Third reason is that many times before after reading his newsletters he made me paranoid to the point where I started to panic and made so many mistakes and said some really stupid shit, only to see the guy flee.
And the fourth reason is – the money. Mr Carter of course needs to eat, so I don’t blame him for trying to sell his ebook, but his newsletters are so cleverly done that they go on and on about your mistakes and when finally they seem to go to the solution he says that to find out more you need to buy his precious book, which I assume will tell you more about how much you suck in a relationship and what you need to change, and because many women don’t have money to spare $40 on an ebook, they start to think too much about what they are doing wrong and that reflects in their relationship.
So, if you are thinking of subscribing to Mr Carter’s newsletters think twice. My relationship advice to you is that: do whatever feels right to you. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. YOu will end up broken hearted, but you will learn a lesson or two and will go into another relationship wiser and more careful. Don’t give up, but don’t read stupid dating advice on the internet. It will not help you, it will destroy what you already have. Remember, internet dating advice is like reading about your symptoms and diagnosing yourself with cancer. Just don’t do it! Please!