Tonight I have my return flight back to Chiang Mai. I fly out of Kochi at 11 pm and will be home tomorrow at 4 in the afternoon.

There are many reasons why I can’t wait to be back: I’m fed up with covering myself in 40 degrees heat, because men here are not used to seeing women’s shoulders and legs, I am tired with people staring at me all the time, I’m fed up with the wi fi, every single Indian dish is starting to taste the same and I need beer, sex and rock ‘n’ roll. I also miss my sister, I miss my friends, I can’t wait to meet some new people that joined our small circle, I miss driving my scooter and I want my bed back.

As to HIM…Well, I know you guys gave me great advice. I am smart enough to know that I probably should finish that off. I also want to mark on the fact that the last post about HIM was written in a heat of the moment and it would probably be curel of me to leave him like that.

I have not made my decision on what to do with this. After the conversation I had with him about feelings I did not speak to him for a couple of days. I ignored his messages. My feelings have not changed, but my attitude towards him did. I just let it go. I am not sure how to explain this, but I just decided to chill out. I think he must have sensed that because suddenly I started getting messages like: ‘when are you coming back? Can you come back already?’. He even sent me a song ‘Baby come back’ yesterday. He sometimes messages me at 5 am.

Now, I know this doesn’t mean anything and I do not want to overthink this. I am just enjoying the attention he hasn’t given me for a bit now. I like that…And whatever happens when I get back, happens and if I end up with a broken heart I will know that this was due to my choice.

Wish me a good flight back.

Advertisements