No, I didn’t go crazy. This is something I though about recently. I once read that men are like horses. If you want to catch them, and run around after them, they will run away from you, but if you turn around and slowly start walking away, they will suddenly follow you. Someone wrote that in relation to women being needy and men liking to chase.
The reason why I thought about it was that I have been thinking of the Pretty Boy lately quite a lot. Not over thinking and losing sleep over it, but just wondering what he’s doing and if maybe I should call him and go on a date with him.
Since I told him that I wanted to be single and didn’t want a relationship he hasn’t been in touch as often as before. I can see that he’s trying not to get attached. He still has feelings for me, which I can sense easily, but he is trying to keep his distance. So, I hear from him less, I see him less, and he stays away from me when we are out. He gives me a lot of freedom and at the same time, he’s always around.
That’s why I think I might be that horse that suddenly realised that someone spends less time to give it the attention it needs and suddenly is curious of why this is happening.

On the other hand I am thinking that maybe I started liking the Pretty Boy because I do need sex from time to time (and the sex with him is AMAZING), and I crave the affection, which he gives me whenever I feel comfortable enough to allow him to show it to me.
After all, deep down, I know that I can’t commit to this guy, because if the opportunity arises I will cheat on him. I am 99% sure of that. I do not want to hurt him. He’s a really nice guy.
There’s also a month left until HE comes back and I still don’t know what is going on with that. At the moment I don’t think anything will happen with HIM. I have a feeling that we drifted apart, but I do need to be absolutely sure before I get myself involved with anyone else.

Luckily, I am not wasting all my energy on thinking about these things. I allow them to drift in my head, but I do not catch them and analyse them. Hard to explain, but the good news is that I do not waste my energy on useless things.

What I do use my energy on is developing some other things on the side. There is a project I am working on with Sister. I also got one offer to earn extra money on the side in Chiang Mai, and an exciting opportunity in connection with my travel blog, but I do not want to say anything cause there is a big chance that it won’t happen, but I am still proud of myself that someone offered it to me. It might be a first step to my big dream – becoming a travel writer (and just in case the universe hasn’t heard it this month – I DO WANT TO BE A WRITER!!)
So, I have been writing and thinking of my next move, and being excited about life in general.

Lots of love to all of you 🙂

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