My sex/love life is in stagnation right now…Well…not really…

I avoided the Pretty Boy for a while. He annoyed me and was too much into me. I finally had to tell him to keep his distance, that I wanted to be single for a while and I couldn’t be in a relationship right now. He understood and stopped contacting me. After I came back from the festival last weekend I kind of missed him, so I sent him a message and asked him out.
We had a nice dinner. There was no kissing and no touching. I had a good time, and after I found myself thinking about him a little.

We met again on Saturday. We had a dinner and went to a park. Again, it was nice. I thought that I started liking him and I could date someone, who appreciates me and is nice to me. We met other people for drinks that night, and he was annoying me again. I don’t know what it is, but when I’m alone with him it is nice, but once we are in a social situation he gets on my nerves.
But that didn’t stop me from inviting him over for the night.

The sex was good. It is always good. I wish it was a bit more rough and he was less delicate, but I enjoy having sex with him. I wish he could just pin me to the wall and rip my clothes off, but he like celebrating my body. He is everything what being a French lover means to me.

This morning when he woke up he was cuddling me and kissing my back, and I found myself cringing from his touch. I wanted him to go.
There was too much affection…
I normally like cuddling and spending a day in bed with a guy, but this time I wanted to get rid of him.

I found myself recently feeling disinterested with men. I have some sort of a mental block. I don’t get excited about men, nor sex that much – it’s like I need it, but I know that my mental needs won’t be met.

In my previous posts I said that I didn’t want a boyfriend. This is still true, but on the other hand I do want someone special in my life. I do want them to just walk into my life and sweep me off my feet. I don’t want to overanalyze, lose sleep or weight over it. I want to fall in love without any drama. I wish someone special could come along.

Advertisements