Men are on the second place in my life at the moment…

Weekend was better than I thought it would. On Friday I went to the cinema with a guy, who I had gone on a date before. Clearly it wasn’t a date (although you never know. He is half Thai and their idea of dating is slightly different). He also invited one of his friends, but it was nice nevertheless. I actually don’t want to date him. I don’t feel attracted to him at all. We watched the film and I went home.

I had to work on Saturday. It was tiring as hell. I was going to go on a date with an Australian guy I had met on OKC, but my sister messaged me asking if I wanted to see the Thailand – Malaysia football game and then go to a punk concert, so I cancelled my date and went with Sis and some friends. You can see how much I want to date someone. I couldn’t care less about dating at this stage.

…except HIM of course

I have been talking to HIM a little. He is still planning to come in February or March. Gosh, I miss him so much. I still have feelings for him, but I am trying to prepare myself for every situation I can imagine. I don’t want to hope that he will come back and we will live happily forever after. I am preparing myself for much worse than that. I imagine him coming back and not wanting to be friends with me, or saying he has a girlfriend. I seriously think that if any of these happens, I won’t be able to be friends with him. It would be too tough for me.

This week will be hard on me

Christmas is coming and this year, first time in almost 7 or 8 years, I am missing home. I am very sentimental. I think of the times when me and the X created our own perfect Christmas. We usually spent it with friends, but once we just spent it together, just the two of us and had so much sex. We always had a nice Christmas tree, and lots of presents. He always gave me something nice….I normally like Christmas, but this time I could do without it. It hurts too much…

Update on my parents

I talked to my mum’s lawyer and it turns out that the situation is not as hopeless. It is still a bit serious and it is horrible when you are almost 60 and suddenly you need to pay off all this debt. This is suppose to be the time when you have collected a good amount of savings and can think of retirement. But I guess this situation is not only my dad’s fault.

This week is really busy for me and I just can’t wait to have a couple of days off after Christmas. Time for a break.

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