Fresh Meat is the second such a young guy I have dated so far, and I’m telling you, 20-somethings might not be a long-term relationship prospects, but they are more mature and less of game players than the older boys.
I’ve always found older guys boring. I also learned that most of the time they play games with you and it exhausts me to the point, when I just want to quit dating all together.
Fresh Meat is 23, 10 years younger than me, but that doesn’t effect anything. At least it hasn’t so far.
We met yesterday for dinner. After, we drove up the mountain, to a view point, where we sat admiring the view on the city.
I knew I had to talk to him. I rehearsed it a thousands times in my head and I was rehearsing it again. Finally, I said it. I told him that I didn’t know what I wanted from that relationship, that I was confused, but I liked him and wanted to keep seeing him. I told him that I felt like I was doing all the work and he was pulling back every time I wanted to touch him, or kiss him in public.
I expected a short, vague, incoherent answer. I was even prepared for being pissed off, making a scene and going home, but instead I got something so mature that it left me a little shocked.
‘You are right’ he said ‘I haven’t been trying enough, and it is not fair that you’re doing all the work. I am just scared that I will screw things up and that I will spoil everything.’
I just didn’t understand the last bit, and still really don’t. I think the only way to screw things up is to either cheat on the other person, or not be honest with each other. And how come someone, who is so lovely and kind, could intentionally hurt me, or do something that will destroy everything between us?
He couldn’t explain it to me exactly what he meant. It just seems like he over thinks things and can’t really enjoy the moment and doesn’t want to give up to what we have. And I thought I was bad…
‘You need to understand that I have never been in a relationship’ he said ‘or with a girl that I feel so connected with and I am a bit overwhelmed by it all. I will try to change it.’
I then told him how much I miss physical contact and how much I need attention and affection, and that if he doesn’t give it to me I will pull back and it will be over very quickly.
He put his arms around me and hugged me. ‘I am so sorry’ he said ‘I just never had anyone in my life who I could hug and kiss in public, and I just don’t know how to do it without feeling uncomfortable. I am really learning here. I’m sorry…’
It felt like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders and suddenly the atmosphere between us started to relax.
We went to my place and we finally had sex. It was a surprise to me how good it was. It was obvious how inexperienced he was, but he made up for it with his enthusiasm and passion. I melted…
When he was leaving he sat next to me and kissed me long and hard. ‘Be patient with me, please…’ he asked.
I think I can try to do that…..