I believe that everything happens for a reason and everything leads you somewhere new and better. This kind of thinking helps me with coping with my recent heartache.

HE hasn’t been messaging me lately, except a few quick exchanges during the weekend. I am used to receiving random links and photos from HIM and the last couple of days have been really quiet. HE hasn’t even been online for a whole, long day (I know that from FB, don’t judge). It makes me sad and a little paranoid. I am OK (well, kind of…) with HIM sleeping with other people, especially that I am not that innocent, but I am worried that HE found someone he likes better than me. I know, I know, we are world apart and there was no agreement on being exclusive, but this silence is really worrying me….

I want to send him a quick message saying how much I miss HIM, but I don’t want to be a needy girl, who freaks out whenever HE is silent for a day or two – or shall I say I don’t want HIM to know that I am that needy girl.

Seriously, I can’t stand the fact that I don’t have that long distance relationship privilege to know about everything that goes in HIS life. I still want HIM to care about me….

And in case you are wondering – no, I still haven’t told HIM how I feel about HIM. I am scared to do so and I have no idea how I should put this across to HIM in a less direct way than just saying ‘I think I might be in love with you and I don’t know how to cope with it…’

So, I tell myself every single day that this is not all that bad, that the fact that I experienced so much attention and good things from HIM taught me what I need in a man and prepared me for something even better. I remind myself about it after every single day when I don’t hear from HIM…