I had a such a great week last week!

It started from Sunday, after I woke up and forced myself to go to the gym, did 5km on a treadmill, despite the bloody cigarettes I smoke, had a healthy breakfast and drove around town with my sister in search of a suitable alarm clock I could use for my classes the following week.

The weather was wonderful. It was a little bit like summer in Europe, it wasn’t very hot and the sun was hiding behind clouds every few minutes. The city was busy, but in a way you only see on Sundays, or during holidays – lots of vehicles moving in a lazy, slow pace.

That day I finally figured out how to download movies, so I have been catching up with some classics ever since.

During the week I went to the gym 5 times, and started doing 30 days yoga challenge, which includes 15 min yoga workout every day.

I could finally focus on my Thai, which is improving really, really slowly…

On Friday I met a friend for lunch and by the end of the day I was full of energy. My sister had a visitor from Malaysia and invited me to go to drinks with them. We were joined by the Frenchie. I hadn’t seen him for a long time and since we broke up every time I saw him, he was treating me like I wasn’t there. He has a girlfriend now, a really nice girl from ethnic minority. On Friday he came alone to the drinks, and as usual he was ignoring me.

We had a couple of beers, moved to a different bar, then went to a gay bar (full of half naked ladyboys and tiny, also half naked, Thai guys) and the Frenchie and I finally had a nice conversation. It was so different from talking to him when we were together. He was relaxed and friendly, and the whole thing just flowed.

After my sister decided to go home,, I stayed with the Frenchie by myself. We went to a club and had an amazing time. I told him about my ‘kissing girl incident’ and he was running around the club, looking for a tom boy for me. We met some cool people and ended up talking to some Americans until 6am.

How is it that every time I feel so wonderful some guy needs to come along and asks me out? Can’t they just fucking stay away and leave me be? One of those Americans did in fact invite me to dinner. I was massaging with him the whole next day, but then got out of the date. I just felt like I didn’t want to make an effort. The guy is cute, he’s 35 and is staying here long term – seems like a keeper, but I enjoyed myself so much last week when it was just me that I don’t want to go through dating drama again. And besides I am really hung up on Chris…still.

When Chris left I was really, really sad, but I am also a person who gets over men pretty quickly. I usually go out, meet someone new and forget about the other one. Usually it is a matter of a few days, a week at most, but this time somehow I can’t get over the fact that he is gone.

After he left a friend of mine asked me if I was in love. I didn’t know, and I still don’t. I kind of lost faith in love. How can you be sure you are in love? How does it feel like? How can you be sure that this is not a temporary thing and that it won’t be gone in a year or two? That’s why I have no idea what I feel for Chris. I think of him all the time. I go through our photos, I even dream about him. To be fair, I don’t enjoy feeling like this about someone who is so far away. I don’t even know if I would enjoy it if he was here (considering the fact that I wouldn’t know how he felt about me). That’s why I am doing 300 things, so I don’t think about him. This week is another week of exercising and healthy eating, plus I have a Couchsurfer from Poland, so I hope this will keep me busy.

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