The School Crush left yesterday morning. He was actually planning to leave a day before, but decided to stay another day. I don’t know how much this was to do with me. 

We went out on Saturday night and hanged out with some friends. I really thought we were not going to hook up again, but we did. During the whole evening he didn’t leave my side. He was everywhere I went. I thought it was going to annoy me, but he did it in such a nice and unnoticeable way that it was actually adorable. We danced together the whole night and then we went to his place. He was leaving at 5am, so decided he didn’t want to sleep. We laid in bed and listened to music until he had to leave. We walked together to the station. ‘Come back’ – I said when the time came to say good – bye. ‘Are you still going to be here in a month’ – he asked – ‘If you are, then I will come back’. 

And here is the part I am really confused about. I so didn’t like him at the beginning. I thought he was obnoxious and ignorant. He was saying things I didn’t like.Then I started hanging out with him more and I changed my mind. But when did I start fancying him and why?? 

Again – he’s not my type. He’s short-ish, blond, has blue eyes, and I think in a few years he might have no hair at all (I so don’t like bold guys). He also doesn’t pay much attention to what he wears. He lives as cheaply as possible. He used to be homeless. He’s just…different…. Part of me says that I shouldn’t fancy him, that this whole thing is just wrong. And yet, I was jumping for joy today when he texted me.

But, he made me feel calm when I was with him. He’s so quiet and shy. He’s like a puppy you want to hug all the time. He reminds me a little of the Kid – there’s that feel about him. I don’t know, I’m just confused.

And why  the hell did I ask him to come back??? What the hell was I thinking? What if he does and it will be because of me and I will be obliged to try and be with him. I would love to hang out with him some more and have more sex with him, but commitment…hell no!!

On the other hand, a lot of things might happen during the next month. He might just change his mind and I will never see him again.