Today is the day, people! I am packed and ready to go.
Yesterday I spent a whole day with the Kid. We went to Greenwich Park and wandered around London. It was great.
At the end I couldn’t resist and said that I was disappointed that he hadn’t spent time with me last week, just before my leaving day. We had a long conversation.
‘I noticed you acted weird’ he said ‘I asked you if everything was ok, and you said that it was. I knew something was troubling you, but you didn’t say anything. It was tiring for me and I just withdrew myself’
I realise that I do that. I can say nice things to someone, but it’s hard for me to admit that there’s something wrong, so I shrug my shoulders, smile and repeat that everything’s fine.
He admitted that he couldn’t give me more, because I was leaving and he didn’t want to get attached.
‘You said you were divorced and you were leaving…How do you think that makes me feel?’ he asked. I didn’t answer. I imagined myself in his situation and I didn’t think I would like it. ‘I would like to be in a relationship with you, but you’re leaving…’ he added.
I said I was sorry for overreacting and overanalyzing, he said he was sorry for being a dick… We parted on good terms.
He sent me a lovely text last night, saying he would miss me.
I will miss him too….a lot….
He’s a nice guy, one of those you meet once in your lifetime.
I truly believe that you meet people for a reason, that everything in your life happens for a reason. The Kid gave me a good lesson, and I will take it on board. Maybe one day we will meet again and we will be both mature enough to commit to each other (I just hope his body will be as perfect).
I am glad I said all these things to him. I feel sad, but it’s a good sad – I have closed this chapter and I am ready to move on.
I am leaving my friends, hoping we won’t change much and I will always have this special connection with them, whatever happens.
Here’s a quote by my favourite travel writer – Tiziano Terzani.
I had said goodbye to everyone and was already feeling the familiar thrill of beginning a journey, the sense of relief that always fills me when I know that I cannot be reached, that I am not booked or expected anywhere, that I have no commitments except those created by chance. How wonderful it is to mix with a crowd, as ordinary traveller, free from one’s self -image, which at times can be a cage as tight as that of the body, to be sure you won’t meet anyone with whom you will have to make conversation, and to feel free to send to the devil the first person who tries to start one..