As from yesterday I am homeless and unemployed.
I moved from my flat. I stood in the middle of it, saying good-bye to the walls, the windows and one of the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. I had to stop myself from crying. It’s silly to attach yourself to people and places so much, but this is who I am.
I will spend the next few days on my friends’ couch.
I feel like I don’t have an anchor right now, that I am just drifting. My loneliness is stronger than ever. I don’t know how I am going to travel alone and not get depressed even more.
I want to be in a good place. I am tired of feeling lonely and depressed. I want to be happy again. I want to smile and don’t feel like it’s an effort. I want to like people again. I want to love and, most of all, be loved…
I wonder if single women feel so lonely as I do. I’m not talking about women, who have just divorced, or broken up with someone. I’m talking about those, who have been single for a while and say that they like their independence – do they get depressed and lonely?
I’m so sad that I can’t even enjoy my freedom right now – I bet one day I am going to regret that.