I want to scream and punch someone in the face.

My X is a dick! I don’t feel sorry for him that he doesn’t feel happy. Fuck him!!!! It’s not only the emails he sends me all the time about how sorry he is that we broke up. It’s also the money issue I’m trying to resolve. I am not going to go into details right now, but he just basically said that ‘it wasn’t his problem’ and when I tried to argue with him, he said that ‘I’m no one to him right now and he doesn’t need to stand my mood swings’. I fucking hate him! 

He’s helping me to move tomorrow. I don’t want to see him.

The Kid is hurting me and he doesn’t even know about it. We went for a romantic walk on Wednesday. It was nice and then he asked what I wanted to do next Tuesday – indicating that he didn’t have anymore time for me in the upcoming week and can only see me a day before I leave. No texts from him since then. It seems like he’s detaching himself now…It hurts…a lot…. He knows I’m leaving and doesn’t want to sacrifice one evening to spend with me.

I had a nice good-bye drink with my boss yesterday. He asked me if the divorce has lowered my self-esteem. I thought not. I still felt attractive and wanted, but today, after a thousandth time I checked my phone, hoping I just got a text from the Kid, I realised that no man will want me for who I am. They only want to sleep with me and fool around. They don’t want to spend time with me, just for the sake of it. I don’t think I’m interesting enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m too stressed about everything, I take life too seriously. Who would want to hang out with someone like that?

I feel terrible!

I think I need a drink…

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