I feel lonely. I have been feeling like this for a long time, but my busy schedule hasn’t allowed me to realise it. I spend every weekend and every free minute doing something, running around, filling up my time and suddenly, after a while, I have this whole weekend to myself and all I can feel is sadness and loneliness.
I was busy on Friday and then yesterday I spend half a day with the X (which I will write about later). In the evening I found myself sitting in my bed, watching movies. It is the fireworks season in the UK and I heard them going off in the distance, I heard some people talking outside of my window, and it made me feel so alone.
I checked Facebook and there was no one available I could chat to, no emails came into my mailbox, no phone calls, not texts. I emailed my Lovely Friend. I wanted to reach out to others, but I do realise people have their own lives, their boyfriends, husbands, kids, shit they are struggling with.
I thought about the Kid and what he might have been doing. I knew he was partying, so he probably didn’t even think of me and that made me double sad.
I can’t be dependant on others. I need to deal with this on my own. I will be travelling by myself soon, and might feel even worse.
A friend called me this morning, asking if I wanted to come over. I declined. Despite the fact that I feel pretty bad, I think that the best thing to deal with this, is to stay in and face my fears, fight them and tell them to go away.
I think of taking up meditation again…
What do you do when you feel lonely or sad? Do you think it’s good to stay in and be alone to fight it, or is it better to look for company?
Life after divorce 
You are caught up in your head. I get that. I do that all the time. I give myself time to sulk and feel sorry for myself. Then I do things to get out of it. It’s just temporary unless you give it too much time…then it starts to take over.
You have wonderful grand adventure coming up. Start focusing on that…not on the lack you feel right now. xo
Thanks, Dawn. I’m trying to get out of this misery. There’s so much going on at the moment and it’s taking its toll on me. I seriously can’t wait to get on the plane. I know it will hurt because of the Kid, but it will also mean that I can leave my worries behind.
You can wait to leave your worries behind…or you can choose to leave them now. xo
I think it’s probably good to be with company. However mainly being with others makes me more lonely and the fact I feel disjointed more obvious to me. Also being with others can be a drain and you have to “put on a face” when you just want to be miserable! Plus that and I’m an introvert!
I like to wallow in my sadness, roll around in its painful misery on my own and lock everyone else out. I’d try to avoid doing this! 🙂
If I’m up to it I watch Seinfeld or Father Ted. They are short enough that my concentration can hold it, they are easy and comfortable and fun and I know all the lines and episodes so I can feel at home with it. They always just help me get through the painful bits where possible!
I think you should listen to your body and your mind – it knows what is good for you if you listen to it and don’t try to sway it from the path with bad thoughts! It knows if its time to just chill out with a friend, or have a bit of time by yourself.
And don’t think just because you’ve been busy you’ve been “running away” from the loneliness. Maybe you’ve just been managing it!
When I feel sad I like to be by myself sometimes, too. I want to enjoy it and feel sorry for myself.
Would you put on a face even if you were with the closest friends? If you do it, then I think it’s better just be alone for a bit, as pretending you’re in a good mood while you’re actually feeling miserable, would make you feel even worse.
I also watch movies or programmes when I feel like that. I go for romantic comedies,or something like that. something really light.
Loneliness it’s such a horrible thing!!
Yeah I put a face on it so much I don’t physically know how not to any more!
Romcoms would just make me angry! ;p
The worst loneliness I’ve ever dealt with was when I kicked myself out of life and went to China for 2 months of straight up solitude. I was in an apartment by myself with no one to speak English to… my laptop got stolen (so no facebook or chatting or emailing) and I didn’t have a cell phone. It was a palpable loneliness and very painful. It was definitely one of those “make you or break you” kind of things and I think it made me much stronger and more capable to face the things I’d been through (specifically the thing that had pushed me to run off to China) and move past them. That’s just me though, I don’t feel qualified to give advice on the topic.. but sometimes, if you can just suffer through it, I think loneliness can garner a lot of personal strength.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so maybe my loneliness at the moment also IS for a reason. Maybe this actually will teach me something about myself, will make me stronger, will prepare me for something that will happen in my life one day.
Your experience sounds horrid. It makes me appreciate the fact that I actually have people here who I can see or talk to whenever I like.
It was doubly weird because I was surrounded by people (China, hello!) but I couldn’t communicate with them.
I think you’re probably right and there IS a reason why you are feeling this way. Hold onto that and explore it and you are likely to discover the “why.”
Oh @aussalorens 😦
I did something similar, escaping to Thailand (shhh don’t tell @divorcedandsingle) and ended up having some horrid people steal all my money and staying a rat infested room in Phuket. Bad times!
…for some reason this post has this theme song in my mind 😉 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ
It’s because we were fed all that mumbo jumbo from Eat Pray Love! Okay, I confess I didn’t read that book until after I’d already booked the flight, but still. It’s not all froofy enlightment!
I’m not really counting on enlightenment here…I just want to escape to a place where I can just reset my life. Oh, and I also want sunshine, cheap booze and hot guys – is it too much to ask??
hahahah oh Ms Noir – this made me laugh!!!
Sadly Eat Pary Love came out about 5 years after my Thailand fiasco so I can’t blame that for leading me astray. I blame the beauty of the Thai smile, the culture, the language, the food – it made me fall in love with it and then stole all my money out of my backpack!!
I hope this won’t happen to me
I survived it, so would you 🙂