When you’ve been brought up in a small community, everyone thinks that your life is not only yours, it is their life, too. They have seen your growing up, they have seen you changed from a small girl to a woman during the years, and they think they know you.
I love coming home and being spoiled by mum’s home cooked meals. I like going to the beach and relaxing. I spend my money like there’s no tomorrow, because I really belive that life is too short to save when you’re on your holiday. So, when I’m home I usually go to have my nails or hair done and I always go to the same salon, where girls who I went to school with work on making the other ones, who I went to school with, beautiful.
I went there yesterday. The lovely smell of candles and beauty products hit me as I entered. I was at once surrounded by the ladies, who wanted to know everything. We exchanged the usual: ‘nice to see you’, ‘you look lovely’ etc. etc. Suddenly one of them said ‘Oh, I thought you would come back with a baby bump. You’re not working hard enough with that husband of yours’. The others started laughing.
That was also the moment when I realised that A. my parents have kept my divorce hidden from everyone else, B. people think that they are being nice, but they are so fucking rude! Even if I still was with my EX, I would think that my belly and my womb are my fucking business.
‘Well, I said. We’re not together anymore, so there’s nothing to work on’. The awkward silence after that was long and heavy. ‘Oh’ the girl who asked the question said ‘I’m shocked. Why nobody told me about this?’
I have had a few conversations like this during my stay here. I was brought up here and I should have known that I would be asked questions I would feel uncomfortable with, but I still find it hard to belive that people can be so rude and direct.
Besides that, another 2 things I learned about myself during the last few days are: I need my personal space (it drives me mad when my mum keeps entering my room and asks me questions all the time. I go for a walk and she asks where I’m going and when I’m going to come back), and I love spending time with myself (yesterday I spent a whole day on the beach alone – this has never happened to me before. I used to look for people to go with me and I would never go by myself. Yesterday was a total bliss. I haven’t felt so good for a long time).
Despite the fact that I love my parents dearly, I love my town and the smell of the air here, I can’t wait to be back in the noisy and overcrowded London (and that’s nothing to do with the Kid, by the way!).