Oh no, don’t worry. I wasn’t in any accident. It’s a crush, not crash! My body is in one piece and my bones are not broken and yet I am a bit achy, but quite cheerful at the same time.

(By the way – this is also a post about the fact that everything happens for a reason and even small things can bring you a little bit of joy)

I got to Victoria to catch my train home and, as it happens quite frequently in London, all of the trains going in my directions were delayed. A huge crowd of people started gathering, everyone frustrated and angry. I was pushed and shoved by other commuters. It was hot.

After a while I got on one of the trains, which was supposed to leave in a few minutes. I didn’t find a seat, so I stood there squeezed between a guy who kept sneezing in my neck and a woman with a stinky breath. At that point I was really tired and wanted to cry. The whole day didn’t go well. I hadn’t slept well the night before, work was tiring and boring, I felt (and still am feeling) totally disorganised and lost. Plus, I was hungry, which usually makes me even more miserable.

‘Ok’ I said to myself ‘There must be a reason for this. The trains are delayed because I will get something out of it. It will lead me somewhere’.

Then the announcement was made that the train wouldn’t go anywhere and the next one was from the opposite platform and will depart in few minutes. I ran, got the train just before the door closed and there he was….my Train Crush.

I hadn’t seen him for a good few days. I started to worry that he might have changed his job, or working times and I won’t see him again. But today, he WAS there!

I’ve been traveling with this guy for the last  2 months. We are usually in the same carriage. I first noticed his tattoos. He has his both arms tattooed with a grey and green pattern of skulls and some dreamy, nightmarish motive. I want to know where these tattoos end. Do they go over to his neck and back, or are they only on his hands? (I swear, if one day I discover he has them on his back too, I will die from desire). Why did he choose a pattern like that? Why did he choose the colours? Do they all mean anything to him? But mostly I want to see how they look like underneath his t-shirt.

Then I noticed his eyelashes, which are the longest I have ever seen in a man; then his eyes – so brown that you can’t even see the pupils; and finally his thick, slightly curly hair.

After looking at him for a few weeks, day after day, I started to develop a crush on him. Now I am absolutely consumed by staring at him. Most of the time he sleeps, so I can watch him (this sounds creepy, I know!), but sometimes he just sits there, listening to music and I need to be careful, so he doesn’t see me salivating. From time to time his eyes wander around the carriage and he catches my sight. I blush and look down, just like a school girl.

One day he was sitting with his mate. They didn’t talk for long, just exchanged a few sentences, but …. I was aroused only by the sound of his voice!

I wonder what his name is, what he likes doing, what music he likes, how his lips would taste like. I want to feel his beard scratching my chin a little while we kiss, I want to touch his tattooed arms. I want to slide my fingers through his hair….

(What is going on with me?)

Today I was standing near him and he looked at me a few times. My heart skipped a bit. When he was getting off he stopped next to me for a minute, close enough so I could smell him. I didn’t know what to do, so I kept staring at my feet. I lifted my head to look at him one last time, but there and then, just like that, the door opened and he was gone. But you know what? The sight of him did improve my mood a little. The whole train delay doesn’t seem so terrible now. Nothing really happened, right? Just a little of a long distance sexual arousal, but hey! It was one of the better points of my day. Thank you Transport for London for this ray of sunshine today!

P.S. If you are reading this, sexy tattooed man with brown eyes, talk to me next time. I am a nice girl, you know…

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