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A few weeks ago I was desperate to have a man in my life again (probably that’s why I made a complete fool of myself on my last date), so I paid the lousy £60 for 3 months subscription and opened an account on match.com.

I was overly excited when I saw all these men smiling at me from the computer screen. Christmas came early!

I wrote my profile carefully. When I finished I was pretty impressed. I sounded funny and witty (well, at least I thought so). Then I put up my favourite photos of myself, added a few movies I like, some bands and I was ready to roll.

I think during the first week or so I must have sent a thousand winks and emails to almost any guy I liked. And what did I get back? Nothing…silence, silencio…Not even one of them replied. Didn’t they see me? Didn’t they notice my beautiful body in the holiday pictures, my witty sense of humour in my profile, and…my desperation?

After a while I started getting emails from 50 year old men (and these were not Brad Pitt or George Clooney type of men. They were Al Bundys!). One of them was actually pretty handsome, and he played a guitar, which made him even more sexy. We started chatting and in one of his emails he said ‘Can I ask what are you looking for? I’m looking for a buddy, a lover and a wife. Now, digest this!’ Oh yeah, thank you very much. It was hard to digest and I almost choked.

For some reason all of these men thought it was ok to write to a woman, who is 20 years younger than them and could be their daughter. Would they have any courage to do that in a real life? I doubt it. I was actually tempted to go on a date with one of them, just to see what happens.

Last week, after a night out, I checked my account and found another 5 winks from middle aged men. Without hesitation I changed my profile to: ‘I’m not your blondie. I hate hills and won’t wear them either for you nor anyone else. I don’t watch sports. I don’t cook. I have a tattoo and I will have more. Oh, and I go out a lot!’

For the last few days I haven’t had any 50 year olds trying to get my attention. There is actually one, nice blond guy I am talking to and I might be meeting him soon. Thank god, he is 30 years old.

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